maybe I'll be perfect (in a new dimension)
by a quarter tone apart
Summary: Bonnie needs a favour. Kai needs a friend. Post 8x16, Two-Shot.


**A/N** : This lil scenario struck me while writing Glory. More work on that one to come (next update May 10!), but I felt like indulging in a bit of humour to balance out all the angst. This was NOT supposed to be so long. I don't know where it's going. Canon edits: Lucy is alive (duh) and Bonnie imprisons Kai soon after he escapes from hell. If you haven't worked out – almost every artistic endeavour I create (tumblr edit or fanfic) has a song driving it, so the song for this ficlet is 'Anything' by SZA. I picture Bonnie's hair as Kat Graham at the 27th GLAAD Media Awards if you're curious 😊

* * *

Boxes tumble to the ground as Bonnie stumbles down the pharmacy aisle. She curses under her breath and drops to the ground on unsteady legs. With every exhale, she emits a soft groan of pain. Her face contorts as she rifles through the boxes and presses a trembling palm to the nasty gash on her waist.

As if _that'll_ stop the Chimera wound from burning her inside out.

She's already exhausted every healing charm in her book (literally – they're the most-frequented pages of her grimoire) and is now simply searching for something to ease the pain: just your basic, run-of-the-mill ointment or even better, something to numb the sting. She turns the boxes over in her one free hand. The letters swim in front of her eyes and she can't make sense of the words. Panic rises in her stomach. _Is this it? Am I losing it?_

Wait. No. They're just written in Greek.

Her phone rings, and a hint of relief washes over her as Bonnie notes the Caller ID. "Lucy. What have you got for me?" Her voice is strained. She grimaces as she sits up and gently leans against the shelf of medicines.

"A sky-high roaming bill thanks to your new career path," Lucy deadpans. Usually Bonnie would banter back willingly, but she feels like acid is slowly seeping into her bloodstream. Plus, she probably deserves that one.

Once Caroline was on her feet and thoroughly occupied with the Salvatore Boarding School, Bonnie had packed her bags and decided it was time to work her way through some of her own grief. In Europe, and without her Scooby Gang to hit 'reset' on the process with another catastrophe that set her back to ground zero in terms of getting her shit together.

After six months of not practicing magic (combatively) and shifting from country to country, the anguish was starting to loosen its hold on her heart. The thought of Enzo, her Grams…hell, even Stefan after all he'd done still sent a surge of grief through her each time, but the sharpness was softening. Most importantly, her fear of forgetting was fading.

Then, at a hostel in Venice, she received a warning from the receptionist about wandering alone at night. Bonnie had been unable to contain the smug tone to her voice. "I think I can handle a few pick-pocketers," she'd countered.

Then the guy had shown her newspapers. 'Animal' attacks; victims suffering blood loss, wounds on their neck and for the few who lived – no recollection whatsoever of what happened. Reluctant as she was to relive her hunting days, Bonnie's conscience wouldn't allow her to let the night prowler continue to terrorise the canal city.

Since then, she's picked up some odd jobs here and there – keeping an eye out for strange news stories, starting a small network of contacts thanks to her cousin. Being in a new continent, some jobs were odder than most – like the one she'd just stumbled out of. Foinikounta was a seaside village in Greece known for gutting fish, not fishermen. Bodies turned up scorched and mauled – Bonnie had considered a werewolf pack, but the timing was out of sync with the lunar calendar.

She found the chimera at the crack of dawn, utterly baffled by its half lion, half reptilian appearance. That was before it spouted a stream of white-green flames in her direction. "I am too old for this shit," Bonnie had muttered.

An entrapment spell worked to keep it secured within a two-yard radius of the seaside cave she had lured it into – but, as she raised her arms to seal the cave shut with an avalanche of rocks, the chimera fired one last blast of flame that she couldn't defend as she finished the enchantment. She dove out of the way, but not before the flames singed the side of her abdomen.

Three hours and a desperate phone call to her cousin later, Bonnie was taking refuge on the floor of the village pharmacy. The pain was one thing – most supernatural bites weren't exactly a papercut when it came to side effects.

"Chimeras were never human. They're animals that have come into contact with some sort of black magic or curse. So on the plus side, I don't think you'll be growing fur or fangs any time soon," Lucy's tone has now shifted from mocking to urgent.

"Hooray," Bonnie splutters weakly. "And the not-so-plus side?" A beat passes before Lucy replies.

"Honestly, the type of contact you had with their flame…you should've been D.O.A. I'm thinking your magic is protecting you, but I wouldn't give you more than twenty-four hours tops. I think I could scrounge together the ingredients for an antidote but it's still risky."

"But it's our only option," Bonnie says resignedly. She winces as she stands and then, with a careful glance over her should to confirm the shop assistant is still glued to his morning television, flicks her wrist and sends the boxes back to their shelves. Selecting a sizeable stack of painkillers, she hobbles to the front counter and is pleased when the shop assistant barely gives the mottled flesh on her stomach a second glance.

Another beat. Bonnie actually hears Lucy's intake of breath on the other line. "Well…" her cousin hesitates. "I had another idea. Less fuss, more effective. You can deal with the burn, but it's the dark magic that's doing the damage. What if you could extract the magic?"

"Extract," Bonnie repeats flatly. "You mean I need a siphoner?"

"That's what I'm thinking."

"Have you got one on speed dial?" Bonnie retorts through gritted teeth. Another feeling is accompanying the acidic burn in her stomach: something drops within her like a stone.

"No, but I believe in a manner of speaking, you've got one up your sleeve."

Bonnie swallows. As she steps outside into the warm seaside air, she's not sure if it's the sun that suddenly sends a pounding through her skull or the thought of asking for help from Hell's very own Peter Pan. She squints her eyes in the sun, then covers them completely with her hand and lets out a large groan.

"Do it, Bonnie. His vampirism is suppressed in that prison world, and a bit of magic won't be enough for him to overpower you." Lucy pleads. "Do you want me to come?"

"No, no." Bonnie sighs. She'd rigged the enchantments to the first prison world she'd ever created with the knowledge of the Gemini Coven's past mistakes in mind. No one can exit or enter the prison world without her express permission, there's no celestial event necessary to use the Ascendant– and neither she nor her prisoner could die in the realm.

She'll get to succession planning in a decade or two.

And she can handle Malachai Parker without Lucy. Plus, she has the Ascendant on hand – Lucy had knowingly quipped about it being up her sleeve. It's misleading that she stows it on her person alongside cherished items: Enzo's necklace and a note from her Grams. The sheer strength of the magic within it makes it a dangerous trinket to leave around.

"I'll call you when I'm out. Thank you, Lucy."

"Take care kiddo. I'm planning your intervention as we speak."

Bonnie rolls her eyes. She pulls the Ascendant out of an enchanted pocked stitched into her leather jacket. She's about to mutter the spell when a surge of pain throttles her, and she doubles over, breathing through gritted teeth.

It doesn't take her long to purchase a bottle of Ouzo. She pops four painkillers into her palm and washes them down her throat with the aromatic liquor.

She's still clenching the bottle when she appears in the Mystic Grill; the sound of the Spin Doctors filling her ears.

* * *

Regardless of where he passes out the previous day, Kai Parker always wakes up in the same place: bolted to a chair and onstage at the Mystic Grill. It's always 9:30 at night as well – signalling the kick-off of karaoke hour.

Even though he's long learnt how to break his chains, it makes travelling a bitch. He stayed up for four days once; managed to make it to New Orleans but sleep eventually claimed him and he woke up right back where he started.

Sometimes he goes for days without breaking his chains. What was the point? He'd already exhausted his sightseeing bucket list the first time he was an eternal prisoner.

Even through the blaring music, Kai snaps into focus as he hears the screeching of chairs and the sound of a table toppling. "What the-"

He's cut off – firstly by the silence, then by a soft groan emitted from a mass of golden-brown curls in the centre of the Grill. Its source is sprawled on the floor of the restaurant; sheltered by an overturned table.

His eyes widen. Kai feels like his chest might explode at the sudden surge of hope. "Bonnie?" Incredulously, he cranes his neck to try and glimpse the intruder's face. "Bonnie?" He raises his voice. This time it's not a question.

Thirty seconds later, he's slipped his chains and he almost trips over his own feet to get to her.

* * *

 _Noise. So much noise_. A quick spell had quelled the Spin Doctors. It wasn't her most graceful entrance, Bonnie will admit that. She'd keeled over in pain as she landed, stumbling into furniture along the way. _Matt will kill me_ , she thinks in delusion. A distant voice calls her name, but Bonnie is already fading into blackness.

"Bonnie." It's the third time Kai has said her name but despite his fervour Kai can hardly savour it. He kneels beside her crumpled body and reaches a hand out to shake her awake.

Green eyes flicker open; wider than saucers. " _Motus_!" Bonnie spits the word out before she can process her surroundings. It is, after all, an unshakeable instinct to put as much distance between her and Kai Parker as possible.

Kai soars backwards, wincing as his path is cut short by another set of chairs and table. For once, he is speechless as he observes Bonnie Bennett with a gaping mouth.

He's tried to use his Heretic magic in the prison world and failed too many times. In this reality, he's back to his tortured existence as a run-of-the-mill siphoner. Bonnie really did a number on him when she painstakingly constructed his universe.

Bonnie pushes herself up to stand on shaking, baby deer legs. As she shifts to clutch her stomach, the bottle of Ouzo crashes to the ground and shatters.

A smirk replaces Kai's shocked expression. "Are you – it this a _drunk_ dial?" His eyes gleam with pleasure at the prospect of a drunken Bonnie stumbling into his world like a sorority girl. Too bad she's not in her cheerleader uniform.

"God, I wish you couldn't talk." Bonnie pants, her breath deep with pain. "Surely after ten months you're sick of your own voice."

"Aren't you here because you miss me?" Kai retorts charmingly. His eyes flicker from her pained expression to the flash of singed flesh he can see beneath her jacket. Half of her shirt has been burned clean away. He grimaces. "What'd you do, pick a fight with a bonfire?" Kai snickers at his unintentional pun. "Ha. _Bon_ -fire."

"Not quite," Bonnie mutters. Her tone softens as she realises what she has to ask. "Kai…" she begins, unsure of where to begin. "What do you know about chimeras?" Her mind is hazy; vision swirling. She momentarily questions the wisdom of making an Ouzo-and-shady-Greek-painkiller cocktail.

His curiosity gets the better of him, and Kai swallows his umpteen questions for the time being. "Only that I wouldn't be first in line to cuddle one." He slowly stands, brushing debris from the coat that he wakes up in every morning – and despises. He's surprised when Bonnie only clutches a table for support instead of sending another spell in his direction. "Unlike you, apparently."

Kai nods at the wound and takes a cautious step towards her. He's about take another when Bonnie seemingly regains her senses. "Don't!" she warns sharply, swaying on her feet. She unleashes a stream of curses. No magic needed to swear bitterly.

"Well, you've changed." Kai observes sardonically. Her hair is somewhere in between blonde and brunette – he can't tell where one colour ends and the other begins. The Bonnie Bennett he knew never wore leather jackets, drank from liquor bottles or swore like a sailor. He perks up, suddenly excited. "Have you gone dark side? _Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son_." Kai extends a hand, grinning gleefully at the opportunity to show off his Vader impression.

Bonnie snorts, and for a fleeting moment there is something that could be a smile on her face. It quickly dies, as she keels over and coughs up a mouthful of blood. She wipes her mouth with a sleeve of her jacket as she straightens herself, as though nothing happened. "I need your help."

Kai can't contain his amusement. He crosses his arms and cocks his head to one side. "Go on."

In different circumstances, Bonnie would have scoffed at his haughtiness. In these circumstances, she's infuriated by his upper hand but attempts to disguise her desperation. Sighing, she yanks her jacket off and peels back the charred remains of her shirt. "Supposedly my hours are numbered unless I get the magic siphoned out of this wound."

Raucous laughter escapes him. Kai is bursting at the irony of her request. "The favour…is your _life_?" He can hardly get his words out; consumed by the hilarity of it all. "Me siphoning you is your solution? Man, the gang have really dropped the ball on this one, haven't they?" He swears her eyes flash red momentarily, but she says nothing. "Unless…" Kai paces towards her, pausing a few feet away. "You're riding solo. And I'm all you've got."

Bonnie's silence confirms his suspicion, and Kai has to stop himself from punching the air. He couldn't dream up an opportunity as good as this – hasn't, in the last ten months of solitude.

"Well, I'd do anything for you Bonnie." Kai drawls, his lips curled into a coy smile. "Especially since you're the key to my freedom."

"Not going to happen," Bonnie returns his unsettling smile with a glare.

"Well. I guess I'll just have to watch you die." Never one to miss an opportunity for melodrama, Kai sinks into a chair and stretches his legs comfortably. "Huh. I'm getting deja vu."

"Don't get your hopes up," Bonnie snaps. "What, you think I'm an idiot? After sparring with you through two prison worlds?" She raises her eyebrows, then takes two cautious steps and takes the seat across from him. Her knee brushes against his leg under the table, and she immediately jerks away. "If I die, you and this world go with it."

Kai shrugs, feigning disinterest. "Beats being here."

She calls his bluff. "So you'd rather be sucked into oblivion? Or sent back to Hell? Ooh, maybe it'll be a Rick Astley music video."

"How is it in my interests to absorb whatever it is that's poisoning you right now?" he counters.

Bonnie groans, slamming a fist on the table. "Your siphoning is a filter. In with the good, out with the bad. You told me this on one of many rants in 1994."

"Huh," he chuckles. "So I did." An idea forms in his mind at the fond memory of talking for miles on end to-, well, more like at- Bonnie in 1994. "That's what I want."

"You want to be back in 1994?"

"No. I want you." At Bonnie's appalled expression, Kai holds his hands up in defence. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. I want you to visit me. Unless I'm mistaken, prisoners are entitled to visits."

"Yeah, from willing visitors." Bonnie snaps. "You are seriously crazy if-" Bonnie is cut short by the need to cough up another round of blood.

"Time's running out, Bon-fire." Kai says in a sing-song tone. "Tick-tock."

Despite the alarm bells ringing in her head, Bonnie's mind flicks back to Lucy's doubts over the efficacy of an antidote. "Fine," she seethes. "I'll visit you."

"Once a month. The first Friday."

"Are you _joking_?" At Kai's deadpan expression, Bonnie sullenly realises he is not. "Fine. Once a month."

"Seal your promise with magic. The first Friday of every month, you, Bonnie Bennett, will join me for a meal."

He says the exact words she had been dreading. A sealed promise couldn't be broken. The magic wouldn't allow it. Bonnie quickly weighs up the options in her mind; somewhat swayed by the overwhelming need for the pain in her stomach to subside. It radiates throughout her entire body and she pictures how her heart is betraying her in this moment: pumping chimera poison through her veins, and oddly intrigued by Kai Parker's proposal. She makes her decision: to act now before Kai tries to sweeten the pot.

Bonnie clasps her hands on the table and mutters the spell under her breath. When the time comes to make her promise, she closes her eyes. "I, Bonnie Bennett, will visit this _imbecile_ in his rightful prison on the first Friday of every month."

"For a meal," Kai interjects assertively.

"For a meal," Bonnie adds before murmuring the end of the spell. A surge of magic emits from her hands and ripples throughout the room like a current. When it ceases, she opens her eyes and locks her gaze on Kai. "Your end of the bargain is in there too. You better follow up."

Kai laughs easily. "Relax. I'm not going to break my end of the deal." He shrugs his coat off his shoulders and rolls the sleeves of the crisp white shirt he wears underneath to his elbows. At Bonnie's raised eyebrows, he shrugs. "You didn't exactly activate the central air when you created this place for me. It's hot. And that's not helping." He points at the wound on her stomach and it's only now that Bonnie realises that the searing heat isn't just contained to her insides.

"Just get it over with," Bonnie mutters. She stands, albeit rockily, and walks to his side of the table. As Kai eyes her, she holds out her hands.

"Yeah, I don't think your hands will cut it," Kai says as he rises to his feet. He pushes her hands down, and Bonnie surprises herself by not reeling away from his touch. He places his left hand on the side of her abdomen where the wound is concentrated. The heat instantly affects him. "Whoa." Caught by surprise, Kai rests his right hand on Bonnie's shoulder to steady himself. She doesn't object, her gaze cast down at her stomach.

He can still remember what it felt like to siphon Bonnie Bennett for the first time – pure, unyielding pleasure as he absorbed her essence. Her magic was strong and potent, and smooth like whisky.

This is different. The magic stings as it enters his palm, shooting signals of fire up his veins. He grits his teeth at the pain. As he follows Bonnie's vision to see whether her wound is improving, her neck slumps forward and she slips out of consciousness – and face-forward into his chest. Her weight transfers to him and Kai easily supports her small frame, using his leg to stabilise her buckling knees. The chimera magic continues seeping out of her as minutes pass by.

And then the sensation changes; shifting without warning to the smooth-whisky feeling of Bonnie's own magic. It warms him for a few precious moments before Kai feels her fingers clasping at his chest. She's awake. He guiltily drops his left hand but quickly returns it to her waist as she sways and struggles to keep her balance.

"Bonnie?" he asks carefully, hyperaware of the lack of distance between them. He raises his left hand to the side of her face, carefully brushing a strand of hair behind her ear as he tries to hold her head up. It's a pointless effort – she's a rag doll.

Kai is frozen in place. That odd feeling – _concern_ – feels like entirely uncharted territory for him. He wonders if she stirred only to force him to stop siphoning her magic. It hadn't been intentional. If he's a recovering addict, Bonnie's magic is distilled by the gods. A thought flickers through his mind: maybe this is all an elaborate ruse to torture him.

Or maybe it's a game to gauge his worthiness of escape? No. Wishful thinking will get him nowhere.

She's back to her lifeless state now; but for the soft rise and fall of her breathing that Kai can sense. Maybe he needs a little wishful thinking. Maybe he needs to convince his personalised green-eyed Kryptonite that his entire game has changed.

So he scoops her into his arms and carries her bridal style out of the Grill.

* * *

A/N: Gonna write one more part to this lil ficlet! Please let me know your thoughts, particularly on the characterisation. Redeeming canon Kai is hard. I'm ready for the challenge.


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